In the early 1950s in the U.S.A., when the great guru (spiritual leader) Paramahansa Yogananda was nearing the end of his earthly incarnation, he prepared his close followers—the monks and nuns of Self-Realization Fellowship—for life without his physical presence. He understood that many of them would be disheartened and feel a bit like a boat without a rudder, but he counseled them with comforting words and invaluable guidance.
The poem, “When I Am Only a Dream” from Songs of the Soul, is part of the enduring legacy that the great Guru knew he was leaving behind with his organization, as well as a representation of the advice and solace he offered, and continues to offer, to all of his followers.
“I come to tell you all of Him”
The guru avers that his only reason for coming to them was to inform them about the nature of the Divine Beloved and how they, like the guru himself, are capable of realizing That Divine Presence. Guruji then reminds them that achieving Divine Realization requires “the discipline that brings His grace.”
The guru comes to the disciple to deliver discipline. The word “disciple” indicates one who is following a certain discipline. And Paramahansa Yogananda’s spiritual discipline offers the way to Divine-Realization, that is, union of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul.
Guruji shows that only those who “have asked” for the discipline can receive it, but once they ask, then he is compelled to offer his discipline; therefore, for those who have asked him “to guide [them] to my Beloved’s presence,” he will do so, as he has done by warning them when they made mistakes. Other ways he has used his disciplinary methods were in offering “a gently significant glance, / Or whisper[ing] to you through my love, / Or loudly dissuad[ing] you when you stray away from Him.”
So those who were privileged to have lived and served in the ashram at the time of Guruji’s incarnation were able, at times, to receive his loving guidance directly.
“But when I shall become only a memory, or a mental image, or silently speaking voice”
However, after Guruji’s soul departs from its physical encasement, that is “when [he] [is] only a memory, or a mental image” in the minds of the disciples, they will not be able to rely on his constant urgings in the same physical way. After he leaves his earthly shell, “no earthly call will ever reveal / My whereabouts in unplumbed space.”
But the guru has promised to guide the disciple always even when the two are not on the same plane of existence. The guru’s advanced consciousness affords him the ability to continue to direct and to guide the discipline of the disciple. Thus Guruji avers, “I will smile in your mind when you are right, / And when you are wrong I will weep through my eyes.”
He will also “whisper to you through your conscience” and “reason with you through your reason,” and he will “love all through your love.” Such promises are ironclad, and all the disciple has to do is continue with attention and reverence to study the methods and practice the meditation techniques that the guru has freely given.
“Read my Whispers from Eternity”
Guruji then becomes very specific in his directions for activities after he has gone; he tells his followers to read his book of prayer/poems, “Whispers from Eternity.” Through this book of metaphysical, mystical writings, the guru will talk to the disciple “eternally.”
Then he becomes ethereal again, saying, “Unknown I will walk by your side / And guard you with invisible arms.” The disciple will find such comfort from these lines, knowing that the guru is, in fact, a guardian angel, who guides and protects even from the heavenly realm.
Such reassurance is beyond the power of the tongue to describe; it is a commanding exercise in faith that the guru gives the disciple who must remain in this material world. The absolute confidence that spiritual strength is much stronger than physical, or even mental, strength offers peace that comes from no other source.
“And as soon as you know my Beloved”
Guruji finally reasserts the magnificent promise that underscores his very reason for serving; he affirms that after the disciple has succeeded in uniting his/her own soul with the Divine, has at last achieved self-realization, “You will know me again more tangibly than you knew me on this earth plane.”
Even from the place that seems unreal as in a dream, the guru will be able to guide the disciple to the remembrance that they both are but dreams. And when the disciple realizes his/her own dream state, s/he will, like the guru, finally be “awake in Him.”
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